Remotech Announces Availability of the HURRICAM;
Now Viewers Can Watch -- And Hear -- Hurricanes LIVE, As They Happen
W. FILABUCKET, CONNECTICUT /DenounceNewswire/ -- September 23, 1998 -- Remotech, Inc. today announced the immediate availability of the HURRICAM, a live broadcasting system with remote-controlled video cameras that will give the public a way to view and hear hurricanes live, as they occur. "This is a historic day," said Cowen T. Morglesthorpe, president and chief executive officer of Remotech. "Just as Hurricane Georges bears down on Cuba and sets aim for the Florida Keys, we will be offering the public a never-before-seen glimpse of what it's like to be right in the path of a fierce hurricane, but all from the comfort and safety of one's home or office." The HURRICAM network, built at a cost of some $175 million, consists of 250 remote-controlled high-resolution video cameras equipped with high-fidelity stereo microphones, all housed in a hurricane-proof, waterproof shell, which is in turn enclosed in a concrete pillbox bunker. Each of these bunkers were constructed by Remotech at a cost estimated at $62,000. An additional 1024 camera/microphone units are installed in special hurricane buoys located all along the entire U.S. eastern seaboard and gulf coast. All of the units can be aimed up or down, left or right, and are connected via either fiber optic or high-bandwidth wireless connections to a central network hub in Remotech's West Filabucket, CT headquarters. Viewers can order the HURRICAM network for $19.95 per month from their local cable TV company, or they can use a credit card and watch it through a live SurrealVideo broadcast over Internet, via Remotech's website. "Consumers have been disappointed by CNN, CBS, ABC, and the rest of the networks for far too long," says Morglesthorpe. "Even the Weather Channel sucks, when it comes to live hurricane coverage. All we see are wimpy reporters talking about what it might be like, from the safety of some backwater town 140 miles away from the action. And the rest of the time they just replay the same old repeating satellite photos, showing the hurricane twirling and moving northwestwards, and then suddenly it's 500 miles southeast, twirling and moving northwestwards again, and so on. I know I'm sick of that. With HURRICAM, that kind of coverage is a thing of the past. Now, the millions of viewers who want, no, need to be there, to see the hurricane, to hear its mighty roar, can do so, through our HURRICAM service. This is beyond entertainment. Truly, just imagine the educational and scientific opportunities!" "This has got to be most innovative and useful service on the Internet in a long, long time," said Indu Strypundit, an industry pundit. "Finally, something else to be entertained by instead of presidents and their scandals. I'm signing up tonight. Who needs NFL football games! We've got the storm on every TV in the house!" HURRICAM customers will be able to select from any of the hundreds of live video feeds, and will enjoy crystal-clear Dolby-stereo AC3 5.1 quadropathic sound, thanks to the high quality of the HURRICAM network's high-quality network. Wall Street reacted favorably to the news, boosting Remotech's stock up 1000% even though the stock isn't even publicly traded. "Our phones are ringing off the walls," said Morglesthorpe, who says would-be investors are begging, pleading, even offering first-borns in exchange for stock.
Copyright © 1998 Birdrock Ventures. Denounce is a satire website specializing in false press releases that are meant to neither inform nor educate. All Rights Reserved. No redistribution or copying without written permission from Denounce.com. DENOUNCE is a trademark of Birdrock Ventures.
|