New Productivity Tool, FoolOrNot, LaunchesKapa'a, Kaua'i, HI -- 2 April 2008 (DENOUNCE NEWSWIRE) -- FoolOrNot Corporation announced today the release of FoolOrNot, a new web service aimed at worker productivity. Simply put, the service helps web users determine if a link they're about to click on will take them to content that is an April Fool's style joke or not.
RateMyPerp.com Draws Criminals' WrathLOS ANGELES, CA - 24 March 2008 (Denounce Newswire) - A new Web site is prompting outrage among many criminals.
RateMyPerp.com lists criminals' names -- some 1,400,000 and counting -- as well as the driver's license numbers and home addresses of many of them, and lets certain people, including law enforcement and victims, rate them.
Google Appoints Singaporean President to its Board of DirectorsNathan to Chair Google's Thoughtcrime Committee
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA 29 January 2006 --- /Denounce Newswire/ --- Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced it has appointed Sellapan Ramanathan, President of Singapore, to its Board of Directors. As a government leader who presides over one of the global trading countries of the world, S.R. Nathan, as he is commonly called, will also serve as Chairperson for Google's new Thoughtcrime Committee. Nathan's appointment was effective January 29, 2006.
Google to Remove "Climate Change" and "Global Warming" from search resultsMOUNTAIN VIEW, CA 28 January 2006 --- /Denounce Newswire/ --- Google, Inc. today announced it has removed all references to "global warming" and "climate change" from its search results, at the direct request of the Bush Administration.
Google to Censor Liberal, Democrat Search ResultsMOUNTAIN VIEW, CA 28 January 2006 --- /Denounce Newswire/ --- Google, Inc. today announced that in accordance with its new policy on censorship, it has agreed to requests from the United States Government to remove references to many liberal, leftist, progressive, and activist organizations.
Prominent among sites and blogs that will no longer be searchable by Google are the American Association for the Advancement of Science's website, MoveOn.org, ALCU.org, Greenpeace.org, the Talking Points Memo blog, AirAmericaRadio.com, and DailyKos.com.
MySpace Confirms Partnership with U.S. Selective ServiceAll Existing and Future User Registration Data to Be Given to the U.S. Government
WASHINGTON, DC /DenounceNewswire/
-- 12 November 2005 -- In a joint press conference today, Rupert Murdoch, CEO of News Corp., Intermix CEO Richard Rosenblatt, and MySpace CEO Chris DeWolfe announced that they have reached an agreement to provide a full and ongoing feed of Myspace membership data to the United States Selective Service System for the upcoming military draft.
Cal Poly Chooses Mac Minis for Supercomputer1 million-node computer the largest in the world
17 January 2005 --- /Denounce NewsWire/--- California Polytechnic Institute and State University announced they are building a massive supercomputing cluster using Apple Computer Inc.'s new Mac Mini computer with 64-bit G4 processors.
Bush Prepares for Possible Internet ShutdownWASHINGTON, 16 December 2004 --- /Denounce Newswire/ --- President Bush has ordered plans for temporarily disabling the Internet during a national crisis to prevent terrorists from using the technology, the White House said Wednesday.
BitTorrent To Release Michael Moore's New Film Free of ChargeMovie Industry Stunned By Latest Moore Move
Cannes, France /DenounceNewswire/
-- 24 May 2004 -- In a stunning move, controversial documentary filmmaker Michael Moore announced today that his latest film, "Fahrenheit 9/11", will be released by BitTorrent, the popular peer-to-peer file-sharing network.
Lindows Changes Name to Michaelsoft
San Diego, CA /DenounceNewswire/
-- 6 April 2004 --
Beleagured Lindows, Inc., the Linux desktop software company sued by Microsoft over alleged trademark infringement, announced today that it is changing the company's name to "Michaelsoft" effective immediately.
Denounce Newswire Closed in Observation of April Fool's DaySan Helifino, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 1 April 2004 -- Denounce Newswire announced today that its offices would be closed on April 1st, 2004, in observation of April Fool's Day. "This is our most sacred national holiday," said a spokesperson for Denounce Newswire. "Once a year we take a breather from our busy schedule while the rest of the world carries on in imitation of the work that we do every other day of the year." Denounce Newswire will reopen for business tomorrow, April 2nd, 2004.
Tilting Diebold Voting Machines 25 Degrees Reveals 1 in 3 Are RiggedTouch Screen Models Turn Out To Be Pre-set For, You Guessed It, Republicans
West Filabucket, CT /DenounceNewswire/
-- 18 February 2004 --
K.R., an eighteen-year-old programmer from West Filabucket, Connecticut today revealed on his web log that he had discovered that one in three Diebold AccuVote-TS electronic touch-screen voting machines, which are being widely used this year in elections across the country, do not actually accept the voter's vote, but rather, are pre-rigged to cast a ballot full of Republican candidates.
DENOUNCE ADDS 1 BILLION NEW PAGES OF CONTENTSatire Site Freaks Out Google's AdSense Engine
San Helifino, CA /DenounceNewswire/
-- 19 February 2004 -- Denounce Newswire announced today it had expanded the breadth of its news coverage by more than one billion items. This innovation represents a challenge to Internet users, as there's no easy way to access the pages.
Friendster Secretly Shares Member Information with GovernmentFor the good of national security, the firm saysSan Helifino, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 28 January 2004 -- Friendster gave information on members to the federal government for a secret cyber-security project, the company said Saturday.
Friendster is the second social network to be identified as secretly passing member records to the government. In September, LinkedIn said it turned over membership records to a defense contractor, later apologizing to its users.
Amazon Launches New Social Network Called "Pricekut"Customers Can Now See and Comment on the Contents of Other Customers' Shopping CartsSeattle, WA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 27 January 2004 -- Amazon.com announced today the launch its own "social network", called Pricekut, allowing its customers to meet old friends and make new ones while shopping for products on the site. The catch? A customer can only enter the social network by first making a purchase on the site, or by having a friend buy an item on his or her wish list. Like its name suggests, Pricekut members may buy items for less than non-members: typically they'll save 10 to 25 percent.
"This is by far the coolest feature we've ever released," said Jeff Bezos, Amazon CEO. "We wanted to make shopping at Amazon more fun and even more social than it is already, and I think our millions of customers are going to be amazed how much fun and addictive this new feature is."
Hubble to be Re-Aimed at EarthNew Mission for Famed Telescope: Homeland SecurityWashington, DC /DenounceNewswire/ -- 16 January 2004 -- NASA Administrator Sean O'Keefe announced today that the Space Hubble Telescope, the pride of astronomers everywhere, will be re-tasked with a new mission: homeland security. In order to carry out its new mission, the next shuttle team will fly up to the satellite and turn it around so it can face the earth.
Tech Billionaires Team Together to Buy Warner Brothers Film StudioGroup Plans to Hire New Scriptwriters, Director, and Re-Shoot The Matrix Revolutions Next Week
Hollywood, CA /DenounceNewswire/
-- 5 November 2003 --
In the most dramatic and expensive takeover in film industry history, a group of high-tech billionaires, including Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Pierre Omidyar, and Larry Ellison, announced today the acquisition of the Warner Brothers film studio and film catalogue, as well as three other companies, with one stated purpose: to remake The Matrix Revolutions.
FEDERAL COURT RULES AGAINST FTC'S DO-NOT-CALL LISTDirect Marketing Assocation Hails Ruling, Starts Calling Millions of People Immediately
New York, NY /DenounceNewswire/
-- 24 September 2003 --
The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) overstepped their bounds, a federal court ruled today,
in establishing a national do-not-call registry. The court ordered that the registry
immediately be stopped.
Other Industries Quick to Copy Verisign's Latest TacticMake a Typo, Get an Upsell
New York, NY /DenounceNewswire/
-- 16 September 2003 --Within 24 hours of Verisign Corporation's move to redirect non-existent domain name inquiries to their own advertising messages, companies in other industries have already unleashed similar tactics.
Massive Class Action Suit Brought Against Viagra MakerMillions of Email Users Tired of "Viagra" Spam, Sue Pfizer "Just On General Principles"
New York, NY /DenounceNewswire/
-- 14 September 2003 --
Two hundred and twenty million people have added their signatures to the largest class-action suit
in history, brought against Pfizer, Inc., makers of the Viagra drug. The suit contends that
Pfizer is at least partly responsible for billions of dollars lost annually in personal and business
productivity as a result of the massive amount of unsolicited email, known as spam, advertising the
Viagra drug itself or its generic incarnations.
RIAA to Force ISPs Nationwide to Adopt Color-Code SystemNew System Will Scrutinize Each Internet User, Rating Their Risk Level for Music File Sharing
Washington, DC /DenounceNewswire/
-- 9 September 2003 --
In the most aggressive -- and, some say, invasive -- step yet to protect record companies, the federal government and the Internet Service Providers (ISPs) will phase in a computer system next year to measure the risk posed by every Internet user every time they connect to the Internet.
Tower Records to Sell $13 Universal CDs for Under $18Announcement Comes Same Day As Universal Music Group Announces Huge Price Cut On New CDs
West Sacramento, CA /DenounceNewswire/
-- 3 September 2003 --
Tower Records, the national record store chain known for its pierced, blue-haired salesclerks and
equally scruffy clientele, announced today a plan to aggressively
cut its prices for CDs published by
the Universal Music Group to under $18. Tower's move comes in response to Universal's same-day
announcement that it would lower the list prices of its CDs to under $12.98 in an effort to boost
sales that have been stymied by free Internet music downloading services.
RIAA Reveals It Caused Recent Blackout, Biggest in U.S. HistoryOrganization Claims Act Turned Out to Be "Surprisingly Effective" Way To Combat War on Digital Music Piracy
Washington, DC /DenounceNewswire/
-- 29 August 2003 --
The recording industry is providing its most detailed glimpse into some of the
techniques it has employed as part of its campaign against online music swappers.
AOL Time Warner to Drop "AOL", "Time", and "-ner" from Company NameNew Name Reflects Both Current State of World and Company's Primary Source of Profits
New York, NY /DenounceNewswire/
-- 11 August 2003 --
AOL Time Warner, Inc., announced today it is planning to change its corporate identity to
"War, Inc." The decision to remove "AOL," "Time," and "-ner" from the company's name will
be made at a group board meeting next month.
Lindows Announces Release of DVD Player for LindowsFeatures include Play, Stop, Eject, and Quit
San Diego, CA /DenounceNewswire/
-- 6 August 2003 -- Lindows.com, Inc. (www.lindows.com) today announced the release of Lindows
DVD Player, a software application
that joins a long line of Linux-based DVD player programs such as Xine,
VideoLAN client, Mplayer, and Ogle. What makes the Lindows DVD player
unique is its name and the fact that it costs money while the other applications don't.
eBay Launches Music Downloading Auction SiteOvernight, Consumers Flock to Service in Record NumbersSan Jose, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 30 July 2003 -- In a stunning move that has other industry players immediately reconsidering their strategies, eBay, Inc. today announced the release of eBay Music, a new marketplace for music downloading. The service, which allows consumers to bid on rights to download any of over 18 million songs, has consumers cheering and competitors including Apple, eMusic, Real.com, and Roxio scratching their heads. The eBay Music site offers more songs than all of the other music download services combined.
RIAA OPENS DETENTION FACILITY FOR SUSPECTED FILE SHARERSHuge Compound Can Handle 3 Million File Sharing Suspects and Their Supporters
Mojave, CA /DenounceNewswire/
-- 25 July 2003 --
Citing lackluster results in its aggressive Subpoena-the-Family campaign, The Recording Industry Assocation of America, or RIAA,
announced today it was escalating the war against music file sharing even higher by opening its massive detention facility in the
high desert of Movaje, CA. The facility, designed to indefinitely detain up to three million people suspected of illegally or even legally
sharing music files on the Internet, consumes 4,000 acres of the desert region some 70 miles north of Los Angeles.
F.O.A.F. PROJECT FIZZLESSplinters Into 10 Competing Efforts
West Filabucket, CT /DenounceNewswire/
-- 23 July 2003 --
The project to design and deploy the "Friend of a Friend" social networking protocol, known by the acronym FOAF, has lost steam amid organizational infighting and
competitive pressures. FOAF organizers expect the project to shut down or at least go on hold for the forseeable future.
MICROSOFT CHAIRMAN BILL GATES ANNOUNCES INTERNET EXPLORER FOUNDATIONFoundation's Mission Is To Continue "Undermining The Efforts" of Mozilla.org and Netscape
Redmond, WA /DenounceNewswire/
-- 15 July 2003 --
Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates announced the creation of the "Internet Explorer Foundation", or IEF, a for-profit organization aimed at "undermining the efforts" of the Mozilla Foundation, a non-profit organization
coincidentally also founded and announced today. In addition to continuing to strengthen IE's market stranglehold through aggressive marketing and monopolistic practices, the IEF also aims to undertake
what it calls "a major study" to document once and for all how the IE product managed to take over Netscape's dominant market position in the Internet browser wars seemingly overnight. "Having such
knowledge," says Gates, "will help guide us in future product endeavors."
Copyright © 1996-2006 Birdrock Ventures. All rights reserved. No redistribution or copying without written permission from Birdrock Ventures. Denounce is a satire website specializing in false press releases that are meant to neither inform nor educate. If it makes you smile and think, we've done our job. Your mileage may vary. Do not read while operating a vehicle. Denounce, Denounce.com, Denounce Newswire, and "All the News That Never Happened" are trademarks of Birdrock Ventures. |
Recognized around the world as the best source for completely fictional news and information.
When you're not looking for a reliable, accurate site for industry news, there's only one place to go: Denounce. All fake. All the time. Founded in 1980. Eight years before The Onion. Deal with it.
Categories
Search
Archives
April 2008
March 2008 March 2006 January 2006 November 2005 January 2005 December 2004 May 2004 April 2004 February 2004 January 2004 November 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 April 2003 February 2003 December 2002 September 2002 July 2002 May 2002 February 2002 March 2001 February 2001 January 2001 December 2000 November 2000 October 2000 November 1998 September 1998 December 1996 November 1996
Recent Entries
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
